AirBnBoo

With the passing of the September equinox, fall is officially upon us. The days are getting cooler (or at least rainier) and the nights are getting longer, heralding the advent of every Instagram addict’s favorite time of year: spooky season. There are many ways to observe this special time—drinking pumpkin spice lattes, setting up your 12-foot skeletons, reciting arcane spell-poems to cast hexes upon your enemies—but one of our favorites is watching a scary movie. For example, have you all seen the film Barbarian that came out a couple years back? As summarized in one review, “a woman stumbles into a nightmare when she finds her rental house already occupied by a stranger.” There’s creepy shit in the basement, Bill Skarsgard is there which is never a good sign, characters are forcibly separated from their limbs and eyeballs, yet as disturbing as these details are they nonetheless pale in comparison to the most horrifying thing about the movie, which is that it’s about an Airbnb in a residential neighborhood.

In a key scene, the protagonist tries to get Justin Long to stop screaming so the neighbors don’t file a noise complaint.

There’s been a lot of collective hand-wringing over short-term rental properties like Airbnbs lately, and not just because some of them hide labyrinthine tunnels containing unknown evils. With conflicts on the rise and the city debating potential new rules, we thought it’d be a good time to check in on Alexandria’s rental health [Editor’s note: not to be confused with Alexandria’s mental health which remains, as always, questionable].

First, let’s get a sense of scale—how many short-term rental properties are there in the city right now? According to the most recent installment of the longest publication in history, In Search of Lost Time by Marcel Proust the mayor’s monthly newsletter, there are around 725, which makes up less than 1 percent of our local housing stock. About two-thirds of these are single-family homes with the median nightly rental rate fetching a cool $185.

While most of the units are not owner-occupied, we’re still waiting for the city to release data on how many are Skarsgard-occupied.

Having short-term rentals in our community comes with pros and cons. On the plus side, they expand our opportunities to bring visitors to our city. More visitors = more money = good [Editor’s note: at least that’s what the Visit Alexandria people tell us, we’re not economists]! Last year short-term rentals brought in $3.3 million in taxes for the city, a quarter of our lodging tax revenue. That’s an important consideration given our overall commercial real estate situation, which is, again as the experts say, bad. Short-term renters also spend money at local businesses. At least some of this is economic activity we wouldn’t see otherwise, since travelers with a strong preference for Airbnbs might not come here if none are available.

That’s because, while it’s well and good to encourage people to stay in hotels, sometimes people have specific needs—saving money, traveling with kids, staying in an area where there are no hotels—that short-term rentals can better fulfill. Plus, sometimes they give you the chance to stay somewhere really cool! According to recent news stories, Airbnb customers have been able to rent out Wyatt Earp’s birthplace, Kamala Harris’s old condo, and an army helicopter. Who knows, maybe if short-term rentals expand around here we’ll be able to book a stay in the rainbow DASH bus or the childhood residence of former Alexandrian Dylan McDermott Derbel McDillet Dermot Mulroney.

Disappointingly “big rig” in this case was not a euphemism.

But short-term rentals also come with downsides. In Alexandria, the most prominent have been disruptions to the neighborhoods where they’re located, such as noise, trash, and parking problems. This is consistent with reported experiences in other communities. According to the city, since 2018 there have been 33 complaints to 311 about short-term rentals and 65 calls to police. Those aren’t huge numbers—the city probably gets more complaints about aggressive tree trimmers and midnight fox screams—but that perspective is cold comfort to people who live next door to a property that’s causing trouble. If we lived next door to a party house where 20-somethings were routinely holding loud ragers, we’d be fucking pissed too [Editor’s note: that we were too old to be invited].

The city is working now on some new regulations to address these problems. A lot of the bad behavior at Airbnbs is already illegal, but enforcement is too fractured among different city agencies and isn’t doing much to prevent problems from recurring. The proposed new rules would make short-term rental owners get a permit, require them to tell renters about local rules, make it easier for neighbors to report and enforce complaints 24/7, ban large gatherings, and revoke the rental permit if a property repeatedly racks up violations. This proposal—which the public will have the opportunity to comment on later this year—generally seems like a good approach that balances competing interests and reduces the likelihood of us feeling bad about not being invited to ragers.

Sorry kids, if you want to throw a house party where rock legends take drugs before jumping off the roof, you’ll have to do it the old-fashioned way (when your parents aren’t home).

There’s another concern with Airbnbs that hasn’t been a big part of the regulatory discussion here so far, and that’s their impact on the housing market. Studies have shown that they can have an impact on rents and sale prices, even though they’re typically not the biggest contributor to high costs. Nonetheless, some cities have seen a large percentage of homes converted to short-term rentals with harmful effects. That’s not an issue here yet—local experts have said that the current number of Airbnbs are likely not having a significant impact on housing prices. We’re not exactly Barcelona, where residents are fed up to the point of blasting tourists at sidewalk cafes with water guns (don’t get any ideas, Old Town).

But that could change. As a city that’s actively working to improve housing accessibility, we have to monitor this issue. And while the proposed rules under discussion are tailored to solve bad neighbor problems, they won’t address housing supply. Other cities struggling with a higher saturation of rental properties are taking steps to restrict or even ban them. We don’t need to go there, at least not right now—that’d be a drastic measure scapegoating what’s currently a small fraction of the underlying problem without actually solving it, all while depriving us of their financial benefits. In the near term, we should keep our focus on expanding supply through the Housing 2040 master plan process and hopefully pursuing additional land use reforms to build on Zoning for Housing, among other policies. 

Of course, we can and should revisit stronger restrictions if the problem starts getting more acute. After all, having Airbnbs in your city is kind of like having a monster in your basement: you’ve probably never dealt with this situation before, it can be seriously disruptive to your peace and quiet, and even though it’s scary you have to keep a close eye on it—and be prepared to fight back if necessary.

Things You May Have Missed Because You Have a Life 

• A new survey on cursing puts Virginia in the top 5 among all American states to which we say, you’re fucking welcome. Maryland tops the list as the sweary-est state in the country, indicating that researchers must have mostly gathered their data while being cut off on the Beltway. 

• This Saturday the city is hosting a Sarah Bagley impersonation contest an electric vehicle ride and drive event where you can test out e-bikes and electric vehicles. The event was originally supposed to feature a Hands on a Hardbody inspired Cybertruck giveaway, but the contestants were all too grossed out to actually touch it.

• The current number one movie on Netflix comes from Alexandria’s own Jeremy Sauliner, who wrote and directed the film. Rebel Ridge tells the story of a man seeking vigilante justice against a law enforcement agency abusing its power, a story which we can only assume was inspired by Saulnier getting too many school zone speed camera tickets on Seminary Road.

• There is absolutely no “person forms heartwarming friendship with a deeply random animal” story that we won’t click and enjoy, so we got a real kick out of this ALXnow piece about a gas station attendant and his sciurine buddy.

• Axios had a nice summary profile of Alyia this week, highlighting both the historic nature of her candidacy along with some of her top policy priorities. 

Local Discourse Power Rankings

1. Off the Veep End (Last week: 1). We’ve long been a city that loves our yard signs (as well covered in this outlet and many others over the years) but even by our typical standards of cardboard expressiveness things have taken a step up recently. The signs have finally slipped the surly bonds of our lawns, boldly exploring the new frontier of fences, walls, and the sides of buildings across the city. Much like Dylan going electric, political expression in Alexandria has gone vinyl—and we’re all going to have to adjust to our new banner-based reality. Your neighbor that used to only talk to you about hydrangea husbandry? Now they’re an expert on city code regarding sign size and placement and can cite you chapter and verse in defense of the legality of their 3x4 display that says YAAASSS VEEP over a picture of Tim Walz doing small engine repair. Our favorites are the homes that have repeatedly upgraded the size of their banner, as if a small Cecile B. DeMille in their head keeps yelling “More! MORE! I need you to emote!” and they’re responding in kind. And this is to say nothing of the constitutional lawyers on Nextdoor who have been banging on about the very existence of the sign ordinance being a constraint on their free speech rights, which we can only assume means someone is just itching to unfurl a 5 story tall banner that reads WAS THAT FIREWORKS OR GUNSHOTS, DID ANYONE ELSE HEAR THAT??

2. That Smell (Last week: NR). A malodorous stench lingered in Old Town for several days last week, leading to rampant speculation about the cause. Was it Jesse sweatily taking a mid-run break? [Editor’s note: hey] Was it Jesse’s pickleball shoes? [Editor’s note: HEY] Was it that godawful tinned fish that Jesse insists is del– [Editor’s note: PLEASE STOP NOW]. Whatever the cause, Old Town was real, real smelly and not in the typical “Union Street has been under 10 inches of river water for two days” kind of way, but more like a “Lynyrd Skynyrd is writing a song about you” kind of way. Local sleuths ultimately pegged an unusual easterly wind carrying the bounty of DC’s wastewater treatment plant across the river as the culprit, but it sure made for an uncomfortable couple days for this newsletter’s smelliest tallest writer [Editor’s note: I swear to god you’ll pay for this].

3. Flood of Emotions (Last week: NR). The next exhibit of rotating public art at the foot of King Street has been announced, set to open next March after the departure of the much-adored interactive asteroid “Interstellar Influencer.” Titled “Break Water,” the new piece is inspired by flooding and listen, while we’re sure it will ultimately be as cool and thoughtful as every other piece that has been exhibited there, picking “flooding” as the topic does feel a little bit like Keyser Soze creating a backstory based on his coffee cup and other random things within his line of sight. It’d be like us just standing at the waterfront like “um, yes, the theme of the piece is uh, torpedoes from an, ah, factory and you know, amplified music citations that, hmm, boat club eminent domain?” The flooding theme also ensures an amusing out for city leaders every time lower King gets submerged, as anyone complaining is now just a philistine who doesn’t get that all the standing water is actually art.

4. Franchise Players (Last week: NR). Early voting has started in Alexandria, which implies voting had, at some point, stopped in Alexandria. Sounds dubious! Nonetheless, people raced to City Hall when the polls opened last Friday–unclear if we’re all really excited about being the first state in the nation to cast our ballots in the presidential race or if everybody just learned that once you vote your name gets removed from the campaigns’ textbanking lists. Either way, we love the enthusiasm and hope it holds up even after people realize that this year’s I Voted sticker is just a broken stick figure crying next to a word bubble that says “please God just make it end, I’m so tired.”

Alexandria’s Hottest Club Is… a Gold Medal Victory Party, Bitches!!!

Taking the opportunity to remind ourselves [Editor’s note: and Arlington] yet again that we’re the greatest city in the entire goddamn world, Alexandrians gathered at ACHS on Sunday afternoon to welcome home Olympic champion Noah Lyles and celebrate his track and field triumph the only way we know how: with a parade, bagpipes, and the town crier.

“Hear ye! Hear ye! Gather close and lend me your ears. Let it be known that we are gathered here to bid welcome to our fair city the motherfucking 100 meter world champ. God bless Alexandria and these medal-count-leading United States.”

The crowd gathered outside the school to watch Noah ride around in a little car, presumably because all of the city’s larger vehicles were damaged by hangry preschoolers at Tons of Trucks. During the outdoor portion of the event Noah’s fans were sadly not permitted to challenge him to a race around the track because the organizers of this event are cowards prudent individuals who make responsible decisions.

Parade attendees waited in vain for Noah to throw his medals into the crowd like Mardi Gras beads.

After the festivities moved into the gym, Mayor Wilson—who broke out his best khakis for the occasion—shouted some remarks. It was kind of a big deal when he said “we’re here to celebrate Alexandria excellence” because that phrase is usually reserved for occasions when public commenters make a meeting about exterior paint colors last more than 3 hours.

World’s fastest man meets world’s loudest man.

The atmosphere in the room was electric as the assembled spectators, cheering and waving homemade signs, watched Noah achieve his lifelong dream of receiving a commendation from his state senator. 

But did this banner comply with the sign ordinance? 🤔

After the event concluded, Noah reportedly introduced his girlfriend (Jamaican sprinter and fellow Olympian Junelle Bromfield) to his hometown in the most Alexandria way possible.

Not even world-class athletes can escape the gravitational pull of ALX pizza hegemony.

Notably, when reporters at the event asked Noah about his future plans, he responded that he’d like to make a movie. We want to make sure he knows that we’re available for screenwriting services and have tons of pitches ready for film plots inspired by his city of origin. For example, Speed but it’s the King Street trolley. The Birds but it’s illegal backyard chickens. National Treasure but they’re stealing the recipe for Thompson Italian’s olive oil cake. Fast and Furious but it’s drag racers banding together to stop the installation of traffic calming measures on Eisenhower. Noah… call us.

“So I’m thinking something like Face/Off, but I switch faces with the ghost of George Washington.” Admit it, you would totally watch this!!!

Overheard in ALX

From the city’s press release on maintaining our AAA bond rating:

“S&P Global Ratings rated the City’s general obligation bonds “above the sovereign,” because “the city can maintain better credit characteristics than the U.S. (government) in a stress scenario.”

And you all thought the bit about doing fireworks on our birthday instead of Fourth of July was mere pettiness. Just part of our long game—can’t be above the sovereign unless you stay above the sovereign. Alexandria excellence indeed.

One Awesome Thing in ALX

Have you ever found yourself standing in front of your home screaming “WHY IS THERE SO MUCH ENGLISH IVY IN MY FUCKING YARD, THIS VINE SUCKS IMMENSE QUANTITIES OF SHIT AND I WISH IT HAD NEVER CROSSED THE OCEAN ON THE GODDAMN MAYFLOWER OR HOWEVER THE FUCK IT GOT HERE”? Of course you have, we’ve all been there. But you can relax now because help is on the way—tomorrow is the biannual Northern Alexandria Native Plant Sale! If you’ve never been, you should absolutely check it out. It’s the largest native plant sale in the DC metro area, which basically makes it Black Friday for shrubbery (but with less brawling in the parking lot).

Stocking up on native perennials, bushes, and trees for your yard has major benefits beyond soothing your ivy-induced rage. First of all, unlike many of the area’s human residents, Mid-Atlantic vegetation can thrive in all 12 disgusting seasons of Virginia weather. Plus, native landscaping is really important for biodiversity since it provides the food and habitat needed by local wildlife. Filling your yard with milkweed, Virginia creeper, and goldenrod is a surefire way to attract animals. But like, not in the pest way, in the good way! Like you’re going to have so many cute critters frolicking around and singing and becoming your friends it’ll be like starring in your own personal Disney musical.

Not pictured: the woodland creatures who will become your sidekicks and help you run your gas station clean your house like in Snow White.

While the folks who organize this are excellent native plant evangelists, they’re terrible capitalists because while the individual vendors who participate make money from the sale, the overall event is non-profit and completely run by volunteers. In fact, its founders, Scott Knudsen and Jennifer Pease, won the 2024 Ellen Pickering Environmental Excellence Award in recognition of their work over the past two decades to make native plants available to Alexandrians. Their efforts have increased the number of sustainable landscapes in the city, not to mention squirrels who are available to come into your house and use their tails as feather dusters while you sing “Whistle While You Work” (or if you prefer, “Whistle While You Twerk” by the Ying Yang Twins… we’re not going to tell you how to live your life), and for that we should all be grateful.

You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.

ALXtra is a free-to-read newsletter about current events in Alexandria, Virginia. Subscribe to get it delivered directly to your inbox. Paid subscriptions give you access to the comments. Revenue from subscriptions gets used in the following ways: 1) a third goes into a charity fund, and every time that fund hits $500 we’ll make a donation to a local charity in the name of ALXtra’s readers and we’ll feature and write about that organization; 2) another third of the money will go toward investments in the newsletter; and 3) the final third of the money goes toward self-care for your two intrepid authors.