Happy Friday, Alexandria! We’re so excited to sit down with you all and talk about local issues since there is absolutely nothing else newsworthy happening in the world. What a boring week, haha! So completely precedented and normal!!
Anyhoo, with Memorial Day behind us, it’s now officially summertime in the Port City, and the weather is steamier than a “Bridgerton” scene involving any combination of two characters riding together in a carriage. Everybody’s getting a little hot and bothered, but no one more so than the emergency officials at the National Weather Service, who keep sliding into our DMs with increasingly breathless severe storm warnings. “Wet microburst”? “Suction vortex”? Monsoon season must be underway because the meteorologists are getting busy.
But for a lot of Alexandrians, this can be a really stressful time of year. Summer is when our most damaging flood events tend to occur—the big storms during that harrowing period from 2019 to 2021 when climate change got extremely fucking real all happened between June and September. Anybody who ended up in the WAB* Club (*wet-ass basement) during that time is probably getting ready to white-knuckle their way through the next few months on a wing and a prayer back-up sump pump.
If those destructive deluges had a silver lining other than giving Al Gore yet another excuse to say “boy do I hate being right all the time” like a skeptical Jurassic Park visitor on preview weekend, it was that they spurred the city to jumpstart work on long-deferred flood mitigation projects. But this isn’t just a story of local government stepping up on its own. It took a lot of work by community advocates, largely through the #DrainALX campaign, to make it happen.
In the unlikely event that anyone reading this is unfamiliar with #DrainALX, don’t worry it’s literally about actual drainage rather than a metaphor for political grievance (in other words it’s basically the opposite of a “Drain the Swamp” bumper sticker you’d see on a F-850 MegaDuty pickup truck). This campaign is a great example of how citizen activism can make a positive difference. It succeeded in getting the city to direct attention and resources toward addressing this problem by using a few super-smart approaches: consistent and sustained public messaging, a focus on identifying solutions, and a commitment to treating other residents and local leaders with respect–in other words, like potential partners instead of adversaries. Also, because this is Alexandria, yard signs.
Thanks to #DrainALX and the city staff who admirably stepped up to meet the challenge, there are now multiple projects in progress through the Flood Action initiative to increase stormwater capacity in the hardest-hit areas. That’s right y’all, we’re partying like it’s 2017-2020 because every week is now infrastructure week in our sewers, culverts, inlets, and outfalls. These projects will help not just property owners but also anyone who needs to get around the city without a kayak. We hope they get completed as quickly as possible and ideally on the more proximate end of the timescale ranging from “today” to “Holmes Run Trail repairs.”
The city has also adopted some new policies to support these capital projects, including the creation of a local grant program for residential floodproofing projects, an increase in the stormwater utility fee, and the establishment of the Artist Formerly Known as the Ad Hoc Stormwater and Flood Mitigation Advisory Committee. But overall, local efforts have mainly focused on upgrading and maintaining hard infrastructure.
The policy side of the equation deserves attention too because some major incentives and opportunities are available there. Readers, it’s time to put on your wonk hats because we’re going to talk about the National Flood Insurance Program for a hot second. [Editor’s note: What does your wonk hat look like? Jesse’s is a backwards baseball cap. Becky’s is one of those massive sun hats with feathers on it that people wear to the Kentucky Derby.] The NFIP, which is operated by FEMA, provides federally subsidized insurance for people living in designated flood zones. These zones are shown on new maps that went into effect this year; more than 1,000 properties in the city carry flood insurance.
An important aspect of the NFIP is that communities adopting strong flood risk reduction policies can get cheaper insurance for their residents according to a point system. This is called the Community Rating System (CRS) and it was designed by and for people who get hard-ons for spreadsheets. The more policies a city adopts, the more points it scores and the bigger discount policyholders receive. This is a win-win because the policies are all smart things cities should be doing anyway to build resilience.
Alexandria currently has a Class 6 CRS rating (with Class 1 having the best flood policies and Class 10 being the municipal equivalent of those beach houses that keep falling into the ocean).
That’s a pretty good rating! It gets local policyholders a 20% discount. We were the first community in Virginia to achieve it, a fact that we’re still bragging about. But in the ten years since that happened, several other jurisdictions in the commonwealth have leapfrogged us to become Class 5. How did we let that happen, Alexandria?? Accomack County has a higher rating than us. Are we really getting embarrassed by Misty of goddamn Chincoteague? James City County is also Class 5. It can’t even decide if it’s a city or a county and it has better flood mitigation policies than we do??? Unacceptable.
We should take a look at the CRS categories where other Virginia communities are scoring much higher than we are (since that indicates our old foe the Dillon Rule likely isn’t an obstacle) and see where we can improve. Those categories include resilient building standards, floodplain management plans, rules about the amount of storm runoff that development can generate, and number of tall ship replicas available to serve as makeshift Noah’s Arks during high tide in Old Town. Okay, that last one isn’t real, but it should be. Now is an especially good time to think about this—we last got CRS verified in 2021, so we’re coming up on our five-year renewal cycle, and meanwhile the city just got a state grant to develop a comprehensive Flood Resilience Plan. Let’s build on the progress we’ve made recently (which will probably earn us additional points, woot!) and show the rest of the commonwealth who’s boss. After all, the CRS isn’t “technically” a competition [Editor’s note: it is], but when we work together to keep homes, businesses, and transportation systems safe from flooding, everybody in Alexandria wins.
Things You May Have Missed Because You Have a Life
The Majestic restaurant was evacuated last week due to a “suspicious odor.” In response, Jesse has apologized and promises to stop eating there after
runningplaying two hours of pickleball.The city is inviting people to participate in an online survey to create a resident-sourced map of Alexandria neighborhoods. If we all include Shirlington within our neighborhood boundaries, that counts as annexing it, right?
In other online engagement news, Patch conducted a poll to crowdsource ideas for what should go into the now-vacant Foxtrot space on King Street, and the readers really brought their A-game. We can’t decide whether our favorite suggestion is a Wawa, a Hooters, a bowling alley (how large do people think this space is?), or an H&M to be located [checks notes] directly across the street from the existing H&M. It all seems very chaotic until you scroll to the “here’s what we don’t want” portion of the list, at which point you realize that the collective judgment of the people is infallible and should not be questioned.
Local Discourse Power Rankings
“Alexandria” (Last week: NR). We’ve had to endure the news media playing fast and loose with our municipal boundaries quite a lot over the years, but of all the things they’ve tried to describe as happening in “Alexandria,” Samuel Alito
existingflying a flag is by far the worst. Please do not involuntarily associate us with this man. We do not claim him. We do not want him. Fairfax County can keep his insurrectionist ass. Anyway, this was an easy mistake to avoid. Obviously if he lived in real Alexandria he would have simply trolled his neighbors by unfurling a banner that said “I hate parades.” Get your shit together, political reporters.You Idiots Are Doing This Road Wrong (Last week: 4). If traffic backs up on Braddock Road but nobody posts a picture of it on Facebook, does it make a sound?
Going to the Dogs (Last week: NR). The mayor has proposed raising the limit on the number of dogs Alexandrians are allowed to have, prompting residents across the city to ask, “There’s a limit on the number of dogs Alexandrians are allowed to have?” Which is honestly pretty surprising given, you know, every single thing about this city. The proposed change seems reasonable, unless you’re one of the online commenters who hate both (canine) density and government regulations, in which case our condolences on your head exploding. Meanwhile, owners of cats–whose household limit is remaining unchanged—are preparing to file a discrimination lawsuit, while keepers of illegal backyard chickens are preparing for their next magazine profile.
Pandas (Last week: NR). Look, we realize that the National Zoo getting new pandas from China isn’t technically an Alexandria news story. We don’t care. Election season is stressful, let us have this. PANDAS!!!!!!!!!!
Alexandria’s Hottest Club Is… Old Town Pool
Memorial Day weekend marks not only the start of summer and its attendant monsoons but also the beginning of perhaps the most anticipated quarter of the Alexandria calendar: pool season. From May to September, immersing oneself in cool water becomes a top priority on hot days, which is pretty much all of the days. Fortunately, locals who want to take a dip enjoy several options—from backyard, apartment building, and membership-based pools to Great Waves Waterpark (“great” perhaps overstating the quality of the waves), the Potomac River (primary contact recreation technically illegal), and the intersection of Braddock and West after heavy rainfall. But we want to take a minute to celebrate the greatest swimming holes of all: our public pools, and Old Town Pool in particular.
The OTP, as the kids call it [Editor’s note: please don’t ask any kids if this is true, just take our word for it], offers a classic, no-frills pool experience. There aren’t a lot of bells and whistles, but the water’s temperature is refreshing and its aroma is only 15% more chlorinated than one might consider strictly necessary. The lounge chairs are plentiful. Some of the umbrellas actually work. The rumble of the nearby Metro offers a soothing contrapunto to the shrill blast of the hourly safety-break whistle. And there’s a funny little fragment of wall in the corner of the fence that makes no sense whatsoever but no one ever mentions, lending a pleasing sense of intrigue to the otherwise unremarkable infrastructure.
But the best thing about the Old Town Pool is that any visit is guaranteed to offer a true slice of Alexandria life. Because it’s affordable, open to all, and accessible by car, bike, Metro, and DASH Bus the People’s Limo, it offers one of the greatest opportunities around to mingle with people of all ages and backgrounds. On any given day you’ve got retirees swimming laps and reading mystery novels, Foreign Service officers tanning while comparing notes on the best flight itineraries to Karachi, parents nervously watching toddlers with no survival instincts who are having the goddamn time of their lives on the baby pool ramp, neighborhood teens throwing footballs that somehow land on you no matter where you’re sitting. The whole experience is a reminder that you’re part of a diverse and inclusive community, which is a great feeling (except when the football lands on you, that kind of hurts). Chance encounters with neighbors are common yet still seem serendipitous. And if you time your visit right, you might even be able to doggy paddle with the most important Alexandrian of all—an actual dog.
Admittedly, the place could use some sprucing up. Like the two of us, the current pool is a few decades old and while there’s nothing technically wrong with it, it’s starting to show its age. City staff and residents have been talking about potential upgrades for years; the project is included in the city’s 10-year capital improvement plan but it’s unclear if or when it’ll get funded. Plus, on top of the facility’s physical issues—which, again like ours, are largely aesthetic—you need an advanced degree in math just to figure out when it’s open.
All that said, we are really lucky to have these public resources available to us. It’s true that not all areas of our own city are served equally—there are three public pools east of Russell Road but none in the West End, and that’s an equity issue. Still, we’re better off than a lot of other communities. Our neighbor to the north [Editor’s note: cue loud Arlington-related booing] doesn’t have a public outdoor pool, nor do many other cities across the country.
It’s truly unfortunate that a quintessentially American experience is in danger of being lost. Public pools are uniquely special places—just look at the amount of space they take up in our collective cultural imagination. We bet you can probably think of at least a couple iconic moments from movies or TV shows that take place at a public pool right now. Just off the top of our heads: the lifeguard mouth-to-mouth scene in “The Sandlot,” the moms thirsting over Billy at the Hawkins community pool on “Stranger Things,” and of course who could forget the episode of “Parks and Rec” where Tom and Leslie push Councilman Jamm into the community pool to stop him from telling the local kids that he only voted for longer swim team hours because Leslie traded offices with him (nothing lingers in our memories quite like revenge plots against unethical government actors).
But we need these facilities in our communities for lots of reasons, not just to provide important civic lessons about the pros and cons of sleazy legislative horse-trading. Access to public pools is correlated with knowing how to swim, a life-saving skill that many kids lack. We shouldn’t forget that this access was denied to many throughout Alexandria’s history. People of color couldn’t swim in the city’s public pools prior to the 1950s, or in the private pools outside the city that only admitted non-white members after the Supreme Court forced them to do so. So while investing in our city pools benefits all of us by creating an egalitarian space that fosters community bonds, it’s especially important as a means to address disparities that still exist while giving kids safe spaces to hang out and goof off and just… be kids. So we hope to see you—and all the neighborhood youths—at the OTP sometime this summer. All we ask is that everybody aim a little more carefully when throwing the football.
The Alexandria Times Quote of the Week
“The Old Town Business Improvement District proposal is unfortunately back for consideration. This proposal reminds me of Glenn Close’s character in ‘Fatal Attraction.’ It won’t go away.”
If the BID is Glenn Close in this analogy, and Old Town commercial property owners are Michael Douglas, does that mean the pet rabbit is the horse statue parked outside of Hard Times?
One Awesome Thing in ALX
If you want to help do something about the climate change-fueled flooding that we spent half this issue banging on about, and you’d love to give Dominion less of your hard-earned money, and you’re in possession of your very own rooftop, great news! The city’s annual Solarize Alexandria program is back and it’s going on through June 30. This is the tenth year running for the nonprofit-run initiative, which provides Alexandrians with free assessments to determine whether solar panels will work on their properties. If you get an assessment and decide to install, the Solarize folks have already vetted the vendors and negotiated bulk prices for you so it’s super easy.
This is a great program and the city has made a solid effort to promote it, but we think flashier advertising could help spread the word even further. For example, the following video is lovely, but can you imagine how many more views it would get if Marta were rapping about this opportunity to the tune of “Hypnotize”?
City city city, can’t you see / Sometimes your panels solarize me / And I just love my home’s new lid / I guess that’s why it’s hooked up to the grid.
Picture it. The scene: a rooftop, bathed in rich yellow sunlight. A troupe of backup dancers appear wearing shiny black outfits that mimic the surface of solar panels. They perform a routine that uses choreography to demonstrate how the sun’s photons knock electrons loose within the panel’s semiconductor material, creating a flow of electric current. The rapper/protagonist narrating this process is of course wearing a sun costume, ideally the one from Bad Bunny’s “Neverita” video.
If anyone has the resources and technical expertise to make this video a reality, email us the Solarize Alexandria marketing team! In the meantime, go get your solar panels—this power is more efficient than your average.
You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.
While I am thankful for it, I look forward to a day where alxfloodwatch.onerain.com is not in my favorites