Laws and Effect
Many Alexandrians, us included, have spent the past couple of weeks feeling increasingly distressed about what’s happening in the federal government. It’s overwhelming, and we know it’s hard to think about anything else right now. But here’s a fun, distracting tidbit you might have forgotten: here in Virginia we also have something called a “state government”! In fact, our commonwealth’s legislature is in session right now, and unlike the United States Congress it actually does stuff, which is pretty cool.
This year the General Assembly is holding its short legislative session. This means that our representatives have exactly 46 days to introduce, debate, and pass an entire year’s worth of laws. Totally sensible system, no notes. Additionally, as if that timeline weren’t daunting enough, they lost a couple days at the beginning of session when Richmond’s drinking water system went offline after the snowstorm, so the state capitol buildings were closed and nobody was able to flush a toilet or bathe for several days. More like House of Smellegates, ha ha!
This week marked the session’s midway point, known as crossover. This is when a bill must have passed at least one of the two chambers in order to survive. Apparently things have been going pretty well so far because the Virginia house speaker, Don Scott, was quoted in the Washington Post as saying, “This has been a boringly competent session, unlike our friends up in D.C. causing chaos everywhere they look.” First of all… “friends”? That is professional-grade Southern passive-aggression, kudos to you sir. Second of all, YES. OH MY GOD YES. PLEASE. JUST BE BORING. WE CANNOT TAKE ANY MORE EXCITEMENT!!!!
As always, plenty of issues at play down in Richmond could affect us up here in our corner of the commonwealth. The budget is a big one—the state has a surplus for now, but the ongoing funding fuckery across the river in DC could change that quickly. There’s also some haggling going on over whether Virginians should get a car tax cut (which the governor wants) or an income tax rebate (which the Dems prefer).
Relevant to our interests as a community with a surprising number of “vote early, vote often” lower back tattoos, a couple pending bills would allow for ranked choice voting in local elections and strengthen protections against voter roll purges. Legislation on maternal health, student nutrition, road safety, renter protections, the minimum wage, and a marijuana retail market is still alive and kicking. Of course, Youngkin is expected to veto some of this, and any of it could fall victim to his long-running feud with Louise Lucas—oh yeah, that song sounds familiar doesn’t it? Because some of us definitely remember that tune from last year.
Meanwhile, Alexandria’s delegates and senator are working harder than the Emilia Pérez marketing team to advance the bills they’re patroning this session (all of which are better written than Emilia Pérez). Almost all of our reps are working on gun safety laws, and they have a few pieces of legislation promoting clean energy. Notably, Senator Ebbin and Delegate Herring are sponsoring amendments on marriage equality and reproductive health so that their constituents can have a little constitutional rights, as a treat.
Delegate Bennett-Parker is also championing a bill requiring restaurants that serve alcohol to provide free tap water. Elizabeth… thank you for making sure we stay hydrated during this difficult time. We’ll forgive you for advancing a resolution to recognize the 50th anniversary of the Alexandria Archaoelogical [Editor’s note: goddammit] Commission even though YOU KNOW VERY WELL we cannot spell that word!! This feels like a personal attack and we will follow up with you about it later. Finally for our purposes, Delegate Herring is the chief patron of a bill establishing a committee to commission Governor Youngkin’s portrait. We can only assume she wants to be in charge of this so she can make sure he’s portrayed at a deeply unflattering angle.
But of course not all bills can pass. Let us pause here to observe a moment of silence for our local representatives’ failed efforts in 2025. [The Grammys “In Memoriam” song plays softly in the background, accompanied by the Alexandria bagpipe band] Delegate Lopez’s bills to assess the Virginia oyster population and replace the words “sell by” with “use by” on food labels, you’re gone too soon. Delegate Herring’s proposal to increase the motion picture tax credit so season three of “Severance” can be filmed in the remodeled City Hall basement, we hardly knew you. Resolutions recognizing the greatness of Noah Lyles, Art on the Avenue, Alexandria’s state champion little league team, and Port City’s World Beer Cup gold medal, requiescat in pace.
So that’s where we are. With just about two weeks left to go, we’ll see what our state lawmakers ultimately manage to accomplish. Unfortunately even if they had all the time in the world, they still wouldn’t be able to legislate the things we really want, like an immediate two million percent tax on any tech oligarchs that wander into the commonwealth, or funding for the development of a time machine that can rewind us to… let’s say 2014 (that was a pretty decent year right?), or our personal favorite, the Please God Just Make It All Stop Act of 2025. But honestly, at this point, we’ll take whatever we can get.
Things You May Have Missed Because You Have a Life
Earlier this week APD helped Fairfax County PD round up some escaped horses who decided to take themselves to the Old Town roads. No word yet on whether the horse tack was attached, or whether the officers in question were wearing a hat in matte black with the boots that’s black to match.
Washingtonian has an excellent new daily newsletter penned by Alexandria’s own Andrew Beaujon, and we highly encourage you to make it a new part of your morning routine. The vibe is “arching an eyebrow at the unrelenting parade of horrors passing before us, and also music recommendations” which is to say, pretty great.
It’s not every 14 year old that features a couple special beers at their birthday party [Editor’s note: speak for yourself] but then again Port City Brewing is no ordinary teenager. While you may have missed their birthday celebration last weekend, you should still swing by the taproom to see if you might snag any remaining of this year’s Colossal release (aged in apple brandy barrels) along with a second round release of their gold-medal winning coffee porter.
Local Discourse Power Rankings
Resistance
SpiceStress (Last week: 1). We don’t have a ton of jokes for this first item because there’s nothing funny about it, but it’s certainly the top thing on the mind of many (if not most) of us living here in the city and thus claims this first spot. The wanton destruction of the federal workforce and the degradation of public capacity that has unfolded this past week at the direction of Elon Musk and his hench-teens nearly defies description. And while this is surely wreaking havoc abroad (to the delight of our enemies) and on the homefront (to the delight of anyone that sleeps with a copy of Atlas Shrugged on their nightstand) our role here is to focus on the damage it’s doing locally. The sudden changes in schedules are upending family routines. The threat to GSA leases is upending our commercial real estate market. The threat to federal jobs is upending our city tax base and for many Alexandrians, their livelihoods. It’s gross and unconscionable and tragic and like we said, we don’t really have any jokes here. And yes, we are worried about the big weighty stuff—the fate of the republic as the American experiment is callously smashed by philistines and vandals—but we are also worried about this community, and losing the foundational fiber that makes it special. We are a city of and for people that largely have dedicated their lives to improving the condition of nameless others across this country and across the globe. To see a concerted effort to smash that and sweep it away, well, it fucking sucks frankly.Thar She Blows (Last week: NR). The epic quest to ban gas-powered leaf blowers in Alexandria is entering an exciting new phase as City Council started talking about the idea in earnest last week… or shall we say they hit the gas [Editor’s note: please don’t do that]. This move is long overdue, and the case for doing it is a slam dunk since these machines are louder than a fighter jet taking off from Andrews and spew more pollution than a middle school boy applying Axe body spray. Most Alexandrians are fully on board with the plan because whomst among us hasn’t fantasized about rounding up these sonic warfare devices and sinking them in Ben Brenman Pond? Local contrarians who see this as a slippery slope toward a deep state conspiracy to replace grass yards with free bike parking and suburban dads with silent electric-powered replicants, sit down, we’re not talking to you. If your primary joy in life is defending the honor of a two-stroke engine that smells like a coal-fired vape pen, that’s between you and your landscaping company, but the rest of us are ready to enjoy our Saturday mornings without feeling like we live inside a malfunctioning chainsaw.
Yates Sushi Palace (Opening Soon) (Last week: NR). In breaking news that has shaken our city to its very core, the Italian eatery that we’ve long been promised is finally opening… as a SUSHI RESTAURANT??? We have to say, this is a plot twist we did not see coming. We honestly thought this building was still going to be vacant when we moved into the retirement home. And then after years of telling us to expect yet another pizza joint in a city already drowning in mozzarella, they pull a culinary bait-and-switch?? If the space was going to be used as something else we expected it to be Tex-Mex. Or a bank. Or a Tex-Mex bank named Taste of Dinero. But unlimited sashimi??? It’s a lot to process and frankly, we are reeling. What city is this? Who even are we? If anybody needs us we’ll be standing on the Duke Street sidewalk having an existential crisis.
Don’t Zone Me Bro (Last week: NR). From the people who brought you baffling city council testimony and homeowners with too much time on their hands comes the most thrilling legal showdown of the season: the Zoning for Housing trial, now officially scheduled for the week of July 28. They said they’d fight to preserve their neighborhoods. They said duplexes would ruin everything. They also said… a lot of completely incoherent legal arguments full of typos. Now the plaintiffs will take on the city attorney in a desperate attempt to stop the horrifying scourge of mildly more housing. Their lawyers are incompetent. Their case is flimsy. But the judge? The judge might actually buy it. Will ZFH survive? Will these guys ever learn how to use spellcheck? Find out this July, when Alexandria’s busiest-bodies have nothing better to do than clear their calendars, drop their kids off at summer camp, and head down to the circuit court to watch it all unfold. Drama. Intrigue. Land use policy. This summer… justice gets rezoned. Coming soon to a packed courtroom near you.
Overheard in ALX
From the press release for the city’s upcoming celebration of the 200th anniversary of the Marquis de Lafayette’s visit to Alexandria:
Guests will savor six wine varieties, paired with heavy hors d’oeuvres and charcuterie, while deciding the ultimate victor—France or Virginia—in a friendly competition of grape varietals. The evening will be filled with lively tavern games, 19th-century music, and a chance to meet the Marquis de Lafayette himself.
First of all, this is a hell of a way to find out the city has a time machine. Talk about a buried lede, right? You think they would have put that right in the headline: “Come witness the scientific marvel of time travel, and also meet the Marquis de Lafayette, we guess.”
Secondly, who’s going to tell him about Hamilton.
One Awesome Thing in ALX
We’ll be the first to admit that it’s been very hard to identify any bright spots in our ominously dark political moment, but… can we hold space to appreciate Don Beyer for a hot second? The U.S. representative for Virginia’s 8th district was in the news this week for being the first member of Congress to mount a public protest against the Trump Musk administration’s dismantling of our federal agencies. He showed up outside USAID on Monday with a handful of other legislators to say badass things like “We are here to shed a light on a crime unfolding before our eyes” and get filmed being denied access to the building. As his constituents, we are very much here for his fighting spirit and willingness to run directly to the barricades like a student revolutionary in 19th century Paris.
If any of our readers are unfamiliar with Rep. Beyer, he’s been a fixture of the Virginia politics and business scene for decades, served our country abroad as an ambassador, is a certified Bluesky Elder™, and has been our Congressman since 2015. Yes, we know he’s technically not exclusively our representative since his district also includes Arlington and part of Fairfax, but he lives in Alexandria so we’re claiming him. Step off, Falls Church!!!
We appreciate Don not only for his phenomenal silver fox hair but also for his willingness to stand up and put in the work for his constituents. On Monday alone, he led the USAID demonstration, held a phone town hall for federal employees in his district, and attended that evening’s Alexandria Democratic Committee meeting to talk strategy and boost morale. And did you see the open letter he wrote to feds about the deferred resignation offer? It’s good stuff. Obviously we’re going to need more than tough talk in the weeks and months to come, but Rep. Beyer’s efforts this week were an important step in reminding the American people that we can and must defend our institutions using whatever tools are still available to us. His words embodied a belief that we at ALXtra share: that a well-run government is a force for good.
You can follow Becky @beckyhammer.bsky.social and Jesse @oconnell.bsky.social on Bluesky, or you can e-mail us anytime at alxtranewsletter@gmail.com.
ALXtra is a free-to-read newsletter about current events in Alexandria, Virginia. Subscribe to get it delivered directly to your inbox. Paid subscriptions give you access to the comments. Revenue from subscriptions gets used in the following ways: 1) a third goes into a charity fund, and every time that fund hits $500 we’ll make a donation to a local charity in the name of ALXtra’s readers and we’ll feature and write about that organization, like we did here, here, and here; 2) another third of the money will go toward investments in the newsletter; and 3) the final third of the money goes toward self-care for your two intrepid authors.
I just want to comment that #notallmiddleschoolboys use Axe body spray like it's DDT in the 1960s. I know a few who don't use any scents-- or anti-scents-- at all. I wish they'd use Axe.
(Wait, this is anonymous, right?) 😂